‘It’s okay to touch her’

All the intelligent responses against the youtube culture that shows videos about women being openly harassed restores my faith in humanity (slightly, at least). Of course, it started by people speaking up against one particularly outrageous video, which then raised awareness about sexual harassment in general.

It’s great to see the huge amount of people supporting this cause, even if it’s only through social media. In fact, social media is probably the most effective way of raising awareness. It’s empowering to read the supportive comments under videos of influential youtubers talking about why harassing people is not okay. However, what I simply can’t wrap my head around is the amount of people whose comments more or less suggests that there’s no harm in touching women’s body parts.

I know youtube comment section is like the…’hive’ of internet trolls, but it bothers me to see that there’s so many people saying harassment is okay. I mean, if it’s like a controversial subject it’s casual and ignorable to see stuck up trolls who believe that only they are right and everyone else is wrong. But this is nothing controversial. Sexual harassment is wrong, whether the victim is male or female.

There’s a bunch of people complaining about how nothing would be done if a guy got harassed. Use common sense, please. Majority victims of sexual harassment are female. Therefore, when talking about the subject, it’s natural to mention the female population particularly. That doesn’t mean both genders aren’t included. Just because someone is a fan of a youtuber, doesn’t mean they should find excuses to defend that youtuber’s wrongdoings.

Then there’s people who claim that there’s nothing wrong with these types of video. Guess what? Your mentality is one of the reasons why these videos are wrong. Perhaps, because you see the edited reactions of the victims, you think it’s fine, they didn’t react much or anything. These promotes sexual harassment by letting people (especially the younger people) believe the victims are fine with it. Or worse, by showing that they can get away with touching someone inappropriately.

There are women who stand up for themselves on spot. But there are also women who will get scared to stand up for themselves. Regardless, there’s nothing acceptable about harassment.

But the thing is why should some guy go about touching women in the first place? These youtubers influence their fans, especially young ones, and refuses to think about the consequence of their actions. They treat women as objects to be experimented on for amusement and promotes misogyny. Everyone should be treated with respect.

I heard about this youtuber who goes up in front of women completely naked in one of his videos to get a reaction out of them. How do you think it would feel if someone just came up in front of you completely naked and started doing weird movements? These type of stunts should be unacceptable. What kind of shameless, disrespectful person would do such a thing? I can’t believe there are people defending these behaviours.

Bottom line is that touching her is not okay. And then telling her she is just over reacting is not okay. Telling her she isn’t dressed appropriately which allows men to touch her is not okay. Whether a girl is naked or completely covered, chances are she has been a victim of sexual harassment. So, appearance clearly doesn’t matter. Therefore, instead of poisoning the minds of people subconsciously or consciously by sending the message that women are experiments, gold diggers, sl**s, why doesn’t anyone promote respect towards fellow humans?

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3 thoughts on “‘It’s okay to touch her’”

  1. Well said and I agree with you. I can not understand why people do stuff like this, why people watch and support it and why nothing is done… But I guess unfortunately we seem to develop more and more into a society where we like to see others feel bad. Or make them feel bad. Maybe just to hide our frustrations… Sad…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Found your comment box! i just wanted to share this article I read on Facebook pertaining to this post, thought it had some helpful ideas -“THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLEASE TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life.) Click Share Button to share it on your Wall.

    It seems that a lot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a situation. Everyone should read this especially each and every girl in this world.

    THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…

    Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

    1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

    2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

    3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

    4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

    5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

    6] Number three is public restrooms.

    7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

    8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

    9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

    10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

    POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

    1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

    2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

    3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

    4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
    armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

    5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
    trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

    6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked
    audibly.

    7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

    FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL….

    I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in
    this crazy world we live in.

    1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

    2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

    3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

    4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
    (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LEAVE!

    5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

    a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side, peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB).

    b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

    c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard /policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

    6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

    7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

    8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

    I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

    Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

    LOVE your blog 🙂

    Like

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