I have a problem. A personal flaw. Or shall I say, a major personal flaw. You see, I openly admit to my awkwardness. Mostly, because I don’t really view it as an enormous flaw in my character. But, sometimes. Just sometimes, I am a way too talkative and boastful piece of crap. Truth be told, I don’t really have anything to be boastful about.
Let me just clarify what I mean by that. Have you ever met someone where the conversation is one-sided? And it’s not your side. I can assure you that I have met many, including myself. But I am not like that with everyone. Most of my friendships are built by encouragement for my companion to share their story with me, because I am genuinely interested to know. (Did that sound boastful?) But then there’s this two or three friendships which involves me rambling on about myself and God knows what else. Props to those friends for being patient. Jeez, I would avoid myself.
The annoying thing is, when I meet someone who has the same flaw as mine, I recognize it instantly. For example, a few weeks ago, one of my close friends introduced me to this other friend of hers, who happened to have the same flaw as mine. But I ended up doing the same thing with others without realising it.
And you know what that close friend told me, ‘I enjoy spending time with you because I feel like I can be myself around you. With him/her, the conversation is one-sided.’ Don’t get us wrong though, that talkative friend has his/her many good characteristics and we don’t talk about him/her like 99.999…% of the time. (God forgive us for the .0000000….1%)
Moments like this, when we cannot fix the past, the only thing we can do is resort to self-compassion. It’s not easy when we realize that we have a major flaw in our characters. S/he might be annoying, but I would nev….hold on a minute! But we are only human. There’s nothing wrong in accepting that we are flawed and sometimes it takes us time to see it.
Being aware is a very important step to overcoming our flaws. Knowledge really is power. Now that I know what I do and also with which people in particular, I can truly work on improving myself. If I ever find myself being boastfully talkative, I will just change the topic to something more inclusive.
Whatever your flaw maybe, be like me! (boasting on purpose. I completely understand if you are wishing for a dislike button now) Don’t hate yourself or blame yourself, work on improving yourself. None of us are without our flaws and insecurities, so let’s not judge anyone, including ourselves too harshly.