On moving cities

The coughing during lectures is unbearable.

I have been living alone for almost two weeks now. Before leaving my house in London, I felt relatively calm about this major change in my life. When I permanently moved back to London after thirteen years in Bangladesh, things were different. At least, I have grown here and there as a person over the years.

I am currently studying Biomedical Science in the University of Lincoln. Initially, I planned on taking a gap year but my A levels didn’t turn out to be good, so taking a gap year would have been a bad idea for me. Henceforth, I applied for University within two days to secure a place through clearing, which led to where I am at the moment.

When I moved to Lincolnshire on Saturday the 17th of September, my self-esteem had a full on relapse. To shine some context, I am a social socially awkward person. Which means I am not afraid to speak to people but some of my general behaviour can be awkward, especially when I am anxious and self-conscious. Maybe, I will talk more about that on a different post.

The day started with the pre-booked taxi cancelling on me just a few minutes before leaving. I was somewhat ill which didn’t help my case. We did end up boarding the train without rushing but the moment we came into Lincoln things only got worse.

As I was already in a negative frame of mind and my anxiety levels were sky rocketing, my first impression of Lincoln was: I am going to have to spend three years of my life here. Read it with a I am doomed tone instead of a cheerful one. Then the taxi which was supposed to drive us to my accommodation was more or less an hour late. When he did arrive, he was the most unhelpful driver in the history of drivers.

It didn’t end there; some stuff happened later on and I felt like burying myself alive. When we kind of settled in my studio room and I calmed down a little, I realised it wasn’t that big of a deal. I was overthinking things.

I remember thinking: today is the worst day of my life and I can’t do this by myself. What a great way to start a new chapter! Obviously, it wasn’t the worst day of my life and I have grown to like Lincoln. Let’s just say things are working out for now.



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