The transition between home and, well, home are not as great as I thought it would be. When in London, my home home, it seems as if I never left it. Once I return to Lincoln home, it also feels the same.
It may be surprising to some but when people learn that I visit home once a month (usually), they think it’s a long time to wait. Although, some students rarely visit home while others go home every weekend.
Personally, a month isn’t that long of a time. Sometimes, if I am having a particularly bad day, I will recount the days left till I can go home. When I feel stressed out or anxious over work load or the lack of support, I remind myself that thinking about home won’t change anything. It’s a continuous fight in the mind where no one can be of any help.
Although by now I have found my way in Lincoln, London is my happy place. Once, the crowd of people always there in central London would be rather irritating, but now I’ve grown to
love like it. It’s nice to be another face within a crowd. That is not to say Lincoln is empty of humanity. The town centre is always a little crowded but large streets with grand lighting and a global crowd has its own charm.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not particularly fond of crowds and I cherish solitude. It is not a factor in liking a city. I do like Lincoln and the fact that walking is the common form of transportation which means money can be saved. Travelling in London as an adult is quite expensive.
In London, I always feel more confident and less afraid. I imagine, it’s because I leave the anxieties that are particular to the regular situations faced in Lincoln, in Lincoln. I have hope that with time I shall overcome those anxieties and enjoy being in Lincoln much more.
To be fair, I’ve only realised how much I like being in London after leaving it. I suppose it’s for the best. I wouldn’t appreciate it as much if I stayed here for too long.
Regardless of my place on Earth or state of mind, I will always look forward to another day knowing I am that much closer to returning home and walking along the streets of London.