song of the cosmic whales

stars, little stars
from where we stood
far, far apart
the whales swimming
through the fabric of the universe
their bodies made of light
bright, translucent
little stars
at least, from where we stood
far, far apart
each one condemned
to swim for eternity
tails fluttering
leaving behind space
stained with stardust
never crossing paths
their lonely songs reverberated
dissolving in the darkness
and the universe kept
expanding, erasing their trails
shrouded in emptiness
each one
far, far apart.

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a letter for a friend in pain & in love

‘You are the butterfly with its wings unclipped’

maybe I am free from the chains of culture
that hold you back, that hold back our women collectively
the name of our religion twisted to make you feel guilty
to tell our women to remain passive to the injustice inflicted upon them repeatedly

you see, when I began to learn about the world around me
I saw the hypocrisy in our society
religious or not, make sure the girls they cannot choose
what they want to be, born to be married off after university

make no mistake, I am tormented by the hypocrisy within myself
maybe I do have it easy here and cannot see
the reasoning behind why you remained kneeling on the ground
when you could’ve flown if you only let their baggages leave

but where would you go if you did fly
if you stood up to the ones that love you, who tell you no
you cannot be any of the things you want to be
if a lover clip your wings, were they your lovers to begin with?

“I know you’re hurting but I am hurting too
more so, knowing I hurt you too
but the shackles that you put around my wrist
of your hopes and dreams hurt me too

there are many things I gave up for you because I knew
you gave up so much more for me too
you think what you do is all for me but one day
it all became unbearably suffocating

Can it all really be for me if I never wanted any of it?” 

when I see you sacrificing parts of yourself, bearing it all in silence
hoping they will let you be together with your lover
but your lover, he is already suggesting things degrading
saying “it’s for the sake of us” but if he can’t fight for you
without you having to lower yourself, a loss too big

is he really worth it?

or are you just sacrificing one life of subdued compromises for another one
and when you realise your whole life was lived for another’s glory
will any of this be truly worth it?

 

here lies so and so, the designated quiet person

The morning’s paper is in
But why do I care, it’s not like I read the newspaper anyway
Well, not in its physical form per say
More accurately in my phone, it’s a bottomless scroll
Fear not, I refuse to be lured in by the falsehood.

I once read about a man who was stabbed to death
Innocent he was, never hurt another soul they said
All flesh and blood and bones
Just like the thief that stole his life away before time could
Overcasting earth with more evil only because
The poor man’s flesh was a colour that his was not.

When they asked his neighbour, ‘do tell, what was he like as a person?’
‘Nice and polite,’ they said, like they always do about the dead
‘He was very quiet.’ and then they added that.

Quiet. A word reductive, a label indelible.
You see, I’ve spent my whole life trying to be anything else
Just not that quiet person in the corner, eventually ignored and someday invisible
For silence is a weapon inciting fear even in the hearts of Godless men.

These attempts at pretending has left me lost and exhausted
Trying to prove I am something (but what?) to…myself?
Somedays I make peace with being quiet because, I am.

When my body is lain in the ground, pray for my soul
Let them say, ‘here lies so and so, the designated quiet person’
No longer anything more than that
but was I ever really?

It’s okay self, set the melancholy free
Oh those of you that could love me, let it not
Make you forget the other parts of me, like I can’t forget
How they robbed him of his identity when they stopped at
‘so and so was very quiet indeed’